A Promise I Should have Never Made:

The Promise I Shouldn’t Have Made:

Some promises live inside us like anchors—meant with love, but carried too long. This is one of those stories.

I’ve never shared this publicly before. It’s raw, personal, and deeply human. I hope that in telling it, someone out there finds the clarity to let go of a burden they were never meant to carry.

A Promise Made in Grief

Years ago, when my mother passed, I made a promise to her—a sacred one. She was the kind of person you remember as a saint. Wise, kind, and always believing in the best parts of others.

Before she died, she asked me to keep in contact with a family member I had once been close to, someone she described as “seeing the world differently.” She asked me to be patient with them, no matter what. And I said yes.

I kept that promise. For years.

Even though this person exiled me from their life with no explanation. Even though they took others with them. For over 20 years, they were silent—until they needed something.

The Door Stayed Open—Until Today

They reached out once, during a moment of need. A ride to a funeral, something they were anxious about. I helped, because I had made that promise.

But what followed? More silence. More distance. More of the same.

As my father once said: “You’ll only hear from them when they need something.” He was right.

This has been an open wound for decades. It’s haunted me, confused me, hurt me. I’ve asked myself countless times: How could they justify this? Why does it still affect me so deeply?

A Promise Turned Against Me

Even worse, my narcissistic ex-partner weaponized the whole thing—using my family's estrangement as evidence that I was the broken one. All while parading her own dysfunctional, dishonest circle as ideal.

That’s another story for another day.

But today, I’m making peace with a painful truth: I need to break that promise.

Not out of anger. Not to create drama. But because it’s time. Time to stop waiting for a connection that was severed long ago. Time to free myself from guilt that was never mine to hold.

It's Time to Move On

Mom, I’m sorry. I know you meant well. But this is one promise I should never have made.

Let this be a reminder to others: not all promises are meant to last forever. Especially the ones that hurt more than they heal.

Sometimes the most loving thing you can do—for yourself and others—is let go.

And as you move forward, remember this:

Always give more than you take. But never give so much that you lose yourself.

LettingGo #HealingJourney #FamilyEstrangement #ToxicRelationships #BreakingPromises #EmotionalHealing #NoContact #MentalHealthAwareness #PersonalGrowth #SelfCompassion #SettingBoundaries #MovingOn

👤 About the Author

Robert McTaggart is a Canadian Army veteran, inventor with ten issued patents, entrepreneur, and mental health advocate. With over 30 years of experience in business leadership and innovation, he now focuses on helping others navigate trauma, purpose, and resilience through storytelling, education, and mission-driven work.